Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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