her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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