Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
