Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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