the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
