I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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