would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize