he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize