so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
