Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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