You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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