Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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