remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
