Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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