its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
