My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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