I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
