my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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