Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
