my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize