Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
