Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
