Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
