69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
