Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
