I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
