Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
