she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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