It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
