It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
