Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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