Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
