Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
