his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
