At least make sure they are 18
Why
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
