and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
