I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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