My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
