We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
