no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the day after is always just damage control
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
