fuck your aforementioned shoe
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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