Kiss
Puke
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
