What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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