we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
