i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
