Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
