you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
