I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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