i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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