what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
