I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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