Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
