D3 body, D1 cock
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I AM VODKA MAN
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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