D3 body, D1 cock
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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