Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
