Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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