I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
