i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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