One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
