When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
