He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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