Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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