how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He shit in the fireplace
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
