her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
