im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
