I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
